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WEEK 4 - A Completely True Story of How I Saved Joanie’s Life
WEEK 4 - A Completely True Story of How I Saved Joanie’s Life
Posted on June 23, 2017 by Kelsey Ervi

First off, I want to say thank you to anyone who actually clicks the link and reads this blog. Last weekend during our Season Auditions, I had so many actors coming up to me saying things like “Are you the Intern with the blog?” and I can only hope that years from now after my DFW career blossoms, people will remember me as the girl with the blog that one summer. #internfamous

Second, this week I finished scanning every unbound printed copy of a play or musical this theatre has ever seen! They’ve all be sent into the ether now. So if the server crashes then all the scripts are gone forever…but you didn’t hear it from me. #trustissueswiththeserver

This means I had to end things with the Xerox scanner and he did not take it well. Our fling was fun, but to be honest I already have a boyfriend and I just didn’t see this thing going any further than a few weeks. I told him it’s not him, it’s me, and that we could still be friends, although he’s giving me the silent treatment so we’ll see if a friendship is in our future. #friendzone

Last thing to report from this week is that Joanie almost died. But do not fear because this story has a happy ending.

“How did that happen?” one might ask. Well…

It was a bright and sunny Saturday afternoon and Joanie, Kelsey, and I were strolling down the street looking at all the plants and flowers. We were skipping and holding hands and singing Mamma Mia together when suddenly a Robber appeared! He said, “Give me your money!” And we said, “We work in theatre!” He replied, “Oh. Then you have no money. Well never mind then.” But before we could get away the Robber yelled, “Joanie, eat this bowl of Torchy’s queso or I’ll burn the place down!!”

Kelsey and I looked at eachother and then looked at Joanie, who looked back at us and then at the Robber. The Robber looked at Joanie and then at the queso, who wondered if his life would be spared today. Then I looked at the sky, and then back down to Joanie, who looked left then right, did a spin, and looked back at the Robber.

It was all very dramatic and confusing.

Kelsey finally broke the tension and said, “Go ahead, Joanie. Torchy’s queso is really good! It’s a Texas thing. Trust me, you’ll love it!” Joanie tentatively approached the queso – excited because she was hungry, but a little weary because she was eating queso from a Robber. She slowly took a bite. Things seemed fine. Then she took a few more bites and looked pleased. She rejoiced, “I love Texas, ya’ll!” and immediately donned her cowboy hat and started singing “The Eyes of Texas.” Kelsey, the Robber, and I joined her in song.

Then suddenly, Joanie stopped singing and said, “Wait, what’s in this queso?”

We all laughed and said, “Cheese. DUH!” (Hahahaha. People from Chicago, am I right??) then Joanie responded dryly, “But, like, what else?”

“There’s cilantro and guacamole,” Kelsey answered.

At that moment, time and space started moving in slow motion as Joanie proceeded to tell us that she is deathly allergic to avocados.

We all nervously laughed, and said, “Uh. So… what happens now?”
“Do you need an EpiPen?” asked Kelsey.
“Do you need mouth-to-mouth?” asked the Robber. I hit him on the arm and said, “She has a husband weirdo! Back off!”

Then Joanie said, “Umm, well maybe we can wait and see? I haven’t had an avocado in like eight years.” This was good news. The allergy was unpredictable.

 “Wait!” I exclaimed. “I have some Benadryl in my purse! I’m a crazy hypochondriac and even though I have no real allergies I keep Benadryl and Pepto-Bismol and all sorts of pills in my purse just in case!”

I got the medicine out and Joanie popped one of the pink pills from my purse. Then, everyone cheered and lifted me up in the air singing, “For she’s a jolly good fellow!” We were so relieved and thankful that Joanie didn’t die. So much so that the Robber gave us each $100,000 for our troubles and then went about his way. #thanksrobber

From saving lives to scanning scripts to doing a lot of research for Hit the Wall, the final show in out 2016-2017 Season, I guess it’s been a good week as an Intern. I’m wishing a happy closing weekend to the cast and crew of Native Gardens. I’ll be taking a week off from the blog next week as the office enjoys a long holiday weekend. #america So I’ll see you all in July!

Thanks for reading my blog!
Because I’m a blogger.
Where does the word blogger come from? Bye.

-Tiffany (@tiff_nav if you are a tweeter)

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Addison, Texas 75001
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